Have you ever wondered anytime in your life about the art of letting go? I am guessing your answer must be a definite “yes”. Haven’t we all been there? But probably, we haven’t really had a the courage to do it. Yes. We haven’t mustered up the courage to master the art of letting go. Only if we had, we would all have been Buddhas. Self realization would have filled us all. Life would have been much simpler.
Life, for me, is an accumulation of simple gatherings. I open my hands to catch one but I end up with arms wide open to gather enough accumulations to make it an armful. I just want to let it go, but I am so unable to. I say to myself, just this one, and want to close my arms. But I don’t.
I stretch my hands out, and hold them tight between my hands. Fingers squeezing and then eventually slipping. They fall through. ButI am nor aware how. I scoop them up all again, those that are scattered, accumulating; until it fills my hold!
I want to let it go. But I don’t want to either. No wait. I want to. It’s a constant indecisive battle that I wage against myself everyday. Indecisive? My mind thinks it’s indecisive, but it is a decisive battle implicitly, because I just let them stay. Strike one!
They just grow inside me, making a room for themselves. And I am constantly picking them all, like an apple picker; collecting them from trees, picking it from the ground. Strike two!
But I do want to master this art of letting go. But this heart wouldn’t let me… Strike Three!
Long gone are the times when I would have the urge to blog my mind off. Life was good then since I had an identity in the blogosphere. I sought attention. I sought identity. People recognized each other by their blog names. Good were those days when blogging was considered a royal hobby.
Enter “Facebook” and “Twitter”. People loved anything that was micro. Microblogging became a rage. Blogging was a time consuming job. Microblogging was possible on the go and over cell phones. Everyone, including me was busy on Facebook! We were able to share everything with one touch! I thought life was cooler until yesterday when I realized how much I had missed connecting with my blogger friends. Yes, the long hiatus! Isn’t it an oxymoron? How I missed blogging..
My timeline dates back to 2008! 3 years of silence on my blog for a person who talks nineteen to a dozen. My life changed in 3 years. I took up a job. Quit it. Got married. Pursuing my Masters. And the amount of experience I have underwent in these three years is enormous!
A lot of times I had to introspect myself,”Why am I not blogging?” and a voice in my tiny brain used to reply, “Everyone is on Facebook! Why bother blogging?”. But I realize how much I have missed. How eventful these 3 years have been. How much I could have shared on my blog!
Recently, I decided to deactivate my Facebook profile for numerous reasons. Suddenly, I found myself flooded with emails and phone calls about how outrageous it was not to find me on Facebook and how even one person’s count of friends went from 100 to 99 because I was gone! I loved all the attention. In fact, it made me realize how much of an identity Facebook creates for one’s self.
It made me realize how much I missed writing. And how much lighter I felt without being tagged on someone’s having a glass of booze in my hand or tagged with someone in a place where my parents wouldn’t want me to be. LOL. I feel independent, guilt free. Infact, I realized that the root cause of all evils is not money but Facebook and how much importance people give to liking on Facebook!
Maybe soon, I regain my Lost Identity on Facebook here and hope to connect with my fellow bloggers soon! Maybe Facebook is not the end of online identity 🙂