Long since I actually blogged.. Lotsa happpenings that I wanted to post! But limited time! I know that is a bad excuse but something or the other always kept popping up that there has been no time to think of blogging. Nevertheless I got a reason to blog! For people who know me why I am blogging, you are absolutely correct! Yes! I am angry and frustrated!
I ve no definite reason to be angry. Lots of small issues that I had overlooked became huge ones… Frustration in life is very frustrating.. It doesnt allow you to concentrate on any other chore. It makes you feel like a loser. Right now I am feeling that way.. I dun even have words to blog. But do I have any other option?? I ve to come over it just by blogging..
Waiting for the date of joining can be really irritating when everyone around you loses their patience and term you to be good-for-nothing! And gaining the few extra pounds around your waist can also be attributed to the delayed date of joining! This actually came as a rude shock to me when I was going out with my friends after a long time and I found to my horror that my good old jeans never fit me! I was totally flabbergasted by the fact that I have gained so much weight that i ve to entirely redo my wardrobe! And now I am doing those crunches and diets to reduce the pounds that I ve gained so that I look normal when I join work! (Will I ever??)
Second reason of frustration is someone assuring something but not delivering the promises! Thats one fact that totally pisses me off.. I have been taught to live upto your word and when someone doesnt, it really turns me off.. I do not have to be hesitant here in mentioning that I have faced quite a lot of this kinda behavior in the past few months… People promise something and deliver something else. Or they promise u, show high hopes of something, make you do some shit and then just disappear.. If those someone are reading this post, I say a hi to their conscience! (And hey! I care a damn about you!)
I know cribbing a lot means (frustration)^2. But sometimes you have to vent out your anger.. Like I had a fall from the running train onto the platform a couple of weeks back.. It was stupid of me to get into an overcrowded train and that too into a ruthless compartment of bitches. But when I fell onto the platform which was a near death experience, not even a single soul came to my help. I had to dust myself of the bruises and gather upto my feet and limp away with people watching in awe wondering “WOW this female is alive!”. I reallly felt like bashing up someone that day.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction! Such a cliched law by Newton.. But people not just use it scientifically but also philosophically.. Thats wat even Bhagvan Krishnaa told.. Watever u do, it ll come back.. Thats Karma… So what is it that I am getting back for all I did?? SHIT?? I know I feel like a loser.. I was stupid to be hardworking. I was stupid to oblige to my peers.. All my work has gone unnoticed.. Noobody even realises my worth..
For the rest of the world, I am just an entity.. Maybe this is the reason which makes people to show themselves to the world?? Maybe is this the neglection that brings out the Dark Lord in you?? I know I am thinking too much.. But then this should again redirect to my post WHY? ..
Anyways.. I really wish I could catch some sleep now to drive off my frustration.. I really wish I could talk to Vishnu or Viresh right now and have some joyous moments with them. I really wish I could go on a trekking for a couple of days and be alone with the nature.. But they are all just wishes.. If wishes were horses, even beggars would ride it. Thanks for the quote Siddhu…