WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PROFESSOR… ;-)

Hey people..

 Am hereby posting few annoying stuff which might be useful during your college’s class session.. I had read it somewhere and giving you the gist of it.. You are free to manipulate the ideas as you wish.. Have fun ppl!!!!!

 

1. Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you’re called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you’re waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to “speak.” When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, “I can’t believe you embarrassed me AGAIN….”

2. Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that you “can’t stand sitting in this pigsty any longer.” Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.

3. Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if you have a question, and mumble your question incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.

4. Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit.

5.Come to class every day wearing scary Halloween masks. Try to get your professor to guess who you are. Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run around the room knocking things over. Say, “Pretty scary, huh?”

6. Come to class with a jar full of angry hornets. Five minutes into class, release the hornets, scream, and run away.

7. Dispute everything your professor says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to “prove” everything to you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor is. Yell at students who are taking notes, saying, “Stop writing down all these lies!”

8. Draw hearts and flowers on the backs of your papers and tests. Next to them, write things like, “You’re the best, even though you suck” and “You’re the worst professor in the world, but I still love you.”

9. Every time your professor stutters, do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class more interesting.

11. Get a monkey, and bring it to class with you. Tell your professor that you’ve hired the monkey to take notes for you. Sit back and relax during class, letting the monkey scribble on a piece of paper. When it comes time to write a paper or take a test, write down things like, “I wish I had a banana” and “I miss my tire swing.” Assuming you get a bad grade, angrily fire the monkey in front of your professor.

12. Get the whole class to show up a few minutes early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that you can’t start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive.

13. Hide somewhere inside the classroom. Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don’t come out when he/she calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out and yell, “Just kidding! I’m here! Fooled you again!” Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class.

14. If you have an early morning class, get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets, an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wear your pajamas. Lie down on the air mattress with the pillow and the blankets and act like you’re asleep. Have the alarm set for about two minutes into class. When it goes off, preferably very loudly, hit the “snooze” button and go back to sleep. Keep doing so for the duration of the class.

15. Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, “Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All” or “Idiot Who Doesn’t Know What The Hell He’s Talking About.” Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.

16. Keep “accidentally” setting fires at your desk. Burn notebooks, papers, or whatever you have handy. Whenever you start a fire, no matter how small it is, start yelling, “Fire! Fire!” and run out of the room in a panic. Don’t return for the rest of class.

17. Show up to class about ten minutes late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, “Look out!” and crash into the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like nothing happened. Do this every day.
 

18. Sit way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible. While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, “What!?” and “Speak up! You’re mumbling!” If your professor advises you to sit closer to the front, tell him/her you can’t because you’re scouting the room for “assassins.”
 

19. Start asking questions in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you’re really interested in what you’re discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt or stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down.

 20. Tell your professor that you’d like to interview him/her for a writing class. Get him/her to tell you his/her life story. Act interested, and write down everything he/she says. Fabricate a few romantic interludes and turn your efforts into a trashy romance novel. Make copies for the entire class, and your professor. Demand extra credit.
 

21. Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, “Bingo!” Apologize, and explain that you got confused. 
 

22. When you have to write an assignment, get it done early and mail it to your professor’s house. From then on, don’t hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of the Indian Postal Service.
 

23. When your professor gives you a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit.

24. Wrap yourself in bandages and come to class in a wheelchair. Throughout class, cry a lot and moan things like, “Why me?” and “Please kill me!” Get up during class, like your going to miraculously start walking. Instead, fall down, cry out in pain, and wait for someone to help you back up. When class is over say, “I feel better now,” leap up, and run home.
 

25. Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a guitar to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is “very inspiring.”

26. Write your professor a note that says, “I’m going to be about 15 minutes late. Go ahead and start without me.” Wait outside the building until the time when class is supposed to begin. Tie the note to a rock, and throw it through the window.

Hey ppl.. Thats it.. Have fun.. Implement atleast one the ideas in the class and do let me know.. I would come up with more like these 😛

The Incredible Journey—> To the station…

Scratch..Scratch..Scratch.. Went my pen on the answer booklet on the day of my Cryptography exam (Dec 4th) which was the last exam of my 7th sem.. Never had my pen gone that fast.. Pls do not jump in to conclusions that I was well versed in that subject.. Naaaa… I wanted to finish first and get the hell outta the hall and enjoy the minutes of freedom!!!

 Added to the excitement was my trip to Mumbai.. Maybe people think its ill omen to have a BOMB in the name of ur city ands maybe they changed it from BOMBay to Mumbai after the ’93 Blasts!!! Anyways, I was looking forward for the trip ‘cos it has been realllly long since i went to Bombay!! Above all.. the worst/best part is I was travelling by Dadar Express 😦 ..

That never downed my excitement.. I packed stuff like hell and literally sat on the suitcase to close it as I was gonna stay for 10 days there.. The damn train started at 7 AM which was obviously midnight for me!! So I had to start from my home at 5:45 AM so that am early to catch the train…

Mumbai.. Here I come.. (Un)Surprisingly an early december morning at Chennai was not as cold as I expected :-D..  The cab guy whom we had booked to take us (me, my cousin n aunt) to the station drove us to the airport thinking we were boarding the Mumbai early mrg flight!! Man!! The spohisticated look does pay off.. But always at the wrong time!!

 My aunt got really tensed and started yelling at the cab driver.. All he could do was sheepishly grin ands apologize.. The time was 6 AM and we had only an hour to catch the train and we were more than 10 kilometers from the Chennai Central.. My aunt started chanting all of her favourite deities’ names and wat not???!! LOL..

I put my head outta the window.. The fresh morning air combined with the speed of the car was the best one could ever experience.. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…… I cared less about my hair getting messed up… I cared less about catching the train.. I even cared less if the driver was gonna hit the guy in front.. Sometimes I am selfish :P.. For those who cant visualize the effect, just recollect the Maruti Alto Ad on TV during the cricket matches.. Minus the rain in the ad wa my effect.. Of course the ninny driver of my cab  was no match to the handsome guy in the ad!! 😦

 The driver raced through the Mount Road in fullest speed so that we reached the station in time to catch the train.. We had a great zig zag journey to the station with lotsa sudden brakes to adhere to the signals. (damn!!!)…

Finally we reached the station at 6:20 AM.. Wow..thats a feat.. The driver deserves applause but all of us tried to be stern so that he dint do the same mistake.. Once bitten twice shy :-D…

Finally with fullest expectations to find handsome guys to accompany me during the travel, I stepped into the station.. I found 3 handsome hunks in front of me hurrying to get into the platform where my train stood.. I was happy.. Not just happy.. Double happy.. I was gearing up my flirting character when all the three of them got into the AC compartment.. Damn!! God does play with my life.. I kept my fingers crossed  till i got into my coach hoping to find some guy atleast there..

I dropped my jaw when I entered my coupe!! Yes.. Just as I “un”expected! 😥 .. I was surrounded by senior citizens…. waaaaaaaahhhhh….. I only hoped to try my luck at Mumbai Local trains :-P..

Indeed it was an Incredible jouney to the station and I would never forgive God for putting me up with senior citizens all around me in my coupe… grrrrrrrr!!!! Waiting for my day!!!!!