Expect a Whack!!!!

Yet again I got the following post as an e mail forward. If you guys are thinkingso as why I am not posting any article on my own, the real fact is whatever I  wanted to post, I get it as an e mail fwd. I ve become pretty lazy these days to type stuff. ANyways hope you guys have fun reading the post. I was ROFL..

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That’s because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that’s why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That’s because the weapons are so well hidden. Don’t worry, we’ll find something, probably right before the 2008 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I’m confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn’t they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn’t want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn’t make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It’s a different culture. It’s not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don’t know about you, but I don’t think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn’t matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn’t have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don’t go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it’s a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn’t that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What’s the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba’ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn’t you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China’s a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn’t a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn’t that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don’t be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn’t think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don’t have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he’s not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What’s a military coup?
A: That’s when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn’t the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn’t you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren’t the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people’s heads and hands?
A: Yes, that’s exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people’s heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn’t the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people’s heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people’s heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It’s OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people’s hands for growing flowers, but it’s cruel if they cut off people’s hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don’t they also cut off people’s hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That’s different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don’t Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What’s the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don’t go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets ? I mean, the Russians ? are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we’re mad at them now. We’re also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn’t help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn’t do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn’t Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn’t that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that’s true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America’s side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you’re saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

This article came in some issue of India Today. I loved it so much that I decided to put it on my blog. Kudos to the writer who actually wrote it.. I was ROFL after reading this. The second time i read it, it was even more funnier

• Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant
  
• Rajnikant has counted to infinity – twice.
  
• When Rajnikant does a pushup. He isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing earth down.
  
• Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  
• Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  
• Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
  
• Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
  
• Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  
• Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boiled the water with his own rage.
  
• If you Google Search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’. you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
  
• It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
  
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
  
• Rajnikant once ate and entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  
• The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.
  
• Rajnikant’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
  
• Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way.

You want to know who is Rajanikanth. …here are the facts

Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

Hey readers..

If you are actually wondering wat the previous post is about, the answer to it is only known by the Hydrabad bloggers who came for the bloggers meet yesterday . Pls dun nail down on the fact that am green with jealousy over a hot female or something. It was just that I was giving a demo of Live Writer and I had to use a sample post to show that Live Writer supports multiple blogs ..

So anyways I guess the hot female spiced up the session .. Thanks to her.. I now dont hate her ‘cos she made me write that post

P.S: I am not angry nor did that hot female make me angry

I hate that hot female…

I was a newbee in 2004 at my college. Like any other migrant from school to college, I was also looking forward for the college life which is projected exaggeratedly on the sliver screen. But nothing of that sort works out here in Tamil Nadu esp if you land up in a Jeppiar run institution.. And I thank God that I am not in one of those institutions.

I realized that they treated us no better than a school student. I thought that if I wanna have fun, then its in my hands. I wanted to make full use of the college life. I started attending symposiums and culturals. I cared less about attending classes. While my other classmates were busy banging their heads onto the voluminous Engg. books, I was busy attending Quizzes and Dumb Cs . . There was no fest without me.

Slowly, I started becoming a well known gal in my college though thats not I wanted.. But luckily, I was projected as an all rounder as I managed to scrape through all my univ exams with a decent score although I was not the topper . For me marks are just numbers. U live your life once and U need to enjoy it to the fullest.

Third year saw me becoming the Microsoft Student Partner, something which I never even dreamt of becoming and I also got placed in Infosys, which I was sure of . I was more than happy in my life. Freaking out, having fun, last min study for exams.. A typical engg student..For me, enjoying mattered the most. I cared less for assignments and tests. I hated lectures.. I always hung with boys. I dint want to be a normal girl, sitting in groups and giggling away all time. Yuck!

Final year came and it promoted me to becoming an intern/influencer at Microsoft which was the most least thing I would ve expected in my life. I was all through my life an aimless gal taking life as it came. But now, am an influencer at Microsoft!!! I have now responsibilities to shoulder. Lots of them.

I look back at the time where I used to have pure fun at college.. Now, going to college has become a rarity. Last bench was my place. Now, when I go to college, my seat is occupied by someone else!! (WTF!!! Its my seat!!!).. But I am still having fun whenever I go to college ‘cos its only 3 months and after which I would be bidding adieu to my student life.

I really would miss all my classmates and fun that I had in my college :’(. Psssst.. I wont miss my staff! They tortured me with tests

KIDS!!!!!!! That one word turns me on… I love them hell a lot.. And this article is about one of the most hilarious incidents that happened wen my cousin Vishnu was visiting us..

It was a warm July night… Not to mention it was the vacation time in the middle east and the US! And of course not to forget that the academic calendar has just begun in India…

So.. That meant frolic for kids n students in US n Middle east n frustration for the kids n students in India..

Vishnu, my 7 year old cousin, landed in India on one warm July night…. I would say that he is a child prodigy with a budding talent of a great singer within him.. It also happened to be that time where my 17 yr old cousin from Dubai was also down here… So it was kinda family reunion after a long time…

Vishnu had this habit of being told a bedtime story every night… Vishnu always liked interactive stories where he liked to guess the upcoming part of the story…

So one night it was the turn of one of my uncle to tell him a story.. He finally decided to tell him a Akbar n Birbal story and to conclude how witty birbal was… So he started the story telling.. And since visnhu was a US bred kid, my uncle decided to tell the story in Tamil as everyone wanted VIshnus Tamil skills to improve…

“Ahem Ahem….”, my uncle cleared his throat. “Once there lived a mighty king called Akbar… He was a very famous and powerful king….”, continued my uncle (in Tamil of course..). “He had nine ministers in his court called Navratnas.. Among them Birbal was a pulavar..” Upon stumbling upon a word which was quite strong in tamil to Vishnu such as PULAVAR, he decided to explain wat it is to him.. He asked VIshnu, “Unshu baby, do you know wat a PULAVAR means??”.. Vishnu nodded his head in enthusiasm that he knew the word. He told “I know perippa”..

We were all surprised by the fact that Vishnu knew this word.. SO we wanted to hear from him the meaning.. So my uncle told “Good baby, tell me what does it mean”….

Vishnu sat up in the bed and was kinda so brimmed up with enthusiasm as he felt that he was the center of attention in explaining a word he knew.. He put on a serious face and started to explain. We all leaned forward expecting him to tell the exact meaning of the word…

But BINGO… we had a surprise…

Vishnu continued with his explanation ” U know perippa?? Wen we travel for loong distances like from LA to Fremont, and we get tired of driving and u need to stop somewhere on the roadside for eating and taking rest, thats called PULAVAR!!!”

We couldnt help laughing.. What he actually meant was a PULLOVER!! We had a nice laughter until our tummies hurt… Vishnu asked innocently” Oh!!! Was i wrong????”, on seeing our expressions…

My uncle immediately told him that he was not wrong and he was right and just that he changed languages.. And then explained him the meaning of PULAVAR which means poet/scholar.. Vishnu just grinned and thus continued the story telling for him..

Still we couldnt forget that incident where we kept laughing and discussing abt it during most of his stay!!!

The above incident is an example of how much kids observe these days and how they imply their observation…..

If we are truly free, why have we to adhere to the 75% attendance rule in colleges or stand up for the national anthem??

So, we all read in school about how our country is democratic, right? And we mention it on every Independence Day, Republic Day and all other conceivable occasions. And we all hold our right to freedom of speech and expression so dear to us, and we all stand up for the national anthem before the movie starts (although some of us, like me, do it rather reluctantly!), right?
Dude, we already know all that. Why are you writing about it? I am sure that is the thought racing through your minds right now. Well, my point is not a very simple one, and I don’t expect too many people to understand it. But here it goes.


Our forefathers (the supposedly great but highly misled and sadomasochistic Gandhi among them), created this nation with the very noble ideas of Liberty and Equality. But these people also framed a law stating that any disrespect shown to the national flag, or anthem and other such symbols of a pseudo democracy, is a punishable offence!
Now I ask, is this not a contradiction? If all men are created equal, and if all have the right to say what they want, why can’t a citizen disagree with the ideal of the very nation he lives in? (I’m not saying that we piss on the flag and do other such vile, obscene things; that certainly is disrespect) I raise a simple issue if I live as a free man in a free country, why am I being forced to stand up to a song that I feel is intrinsically wrong? This is not just hypocrisy, this is deep-rooted wickedness. And ours is not the only nation that’s suffering!


As strange as it may seem, I really don’t identify with nationalism, because I believe all men are the same. Why differentiate between men? Why have borders? True, people who have common culture can have the freedom to stay together if they want to, but why have rigid borders and differences on the basis of race and nationality? Or sex for that matter (no silly, not how frequently, but male or female!)?


The truth is that the priests, politicians and religious leaders want to crush your individuality! They impose all these borders and rules on you to stop you from thinking independently, from living as you want! Of course, they do all this under the garb of culture, political revolution and religion, and yes, through education. Consider this if we are truly free, why have we to adhere to the 75% attendance rule in colleges? Undoubtedly, it is the silliest rule I have seen! If I think I gain nothing from attending a particular lecture, why should I waste my time?


The point, I state again, is that we have unconsciously surrendered our lives to these pathetic morons! The goal of society is merely to create a herd, because a herd has no individuality. Animals move in herds! And all this is being done to curb your freedom. Just look at all that your politicians are saying and your priests as well. Look into it deeply and you will find that they are all out to crush your individuality.


This is not just a time pass article… This is a call to revolution against those very forces that have been oppressing us!
I know most people won’t really understand all that I have written, but if my words can create a spark in you, I shall consider myself a success. And if that spark does come, don’t thank me, thank God or Allah or Bhagwan or whatever you call this existence. May all be blessed!

Instructions to open a book:

1. First take the book.
2. Next keep it in such a way that the bound edge is to the left.

NOW OPEN THE BOOK…….

OR

Just open the last page to get into a whole new interesting world… The world which I ve rightly named as DOODLES WORLD!!!!!

Now the last page of a notebook can say a lot about its owner.. If ur last page is empty or if u think doodling in the last page spoils the beauty of ur Chak-a-Chak white book..Then stop!!! Turn the page.. This article is not for you..

On the other hand if u are a typical student like me then read on. Who else better than us would understand the potential of back pages?? It helps us realize our talents. Here.. I am referring to calligraphers and cartoonists.. From fashion designing to profiles.. from writing names in different fonts to checking ambidextrosity …to err practicing forgery… And of course not to forget the caricatures of our beloved profs…
So next time the talent hunt is on…You know where to begin…

Apart from time pass, our back pages serve as our handy dandy telephone diary. We’ll need to call our friends to ask her/him to clarify doubts or to copy down homework sums)U were busy doodling in the class remember!!!!). So along with calligraphy and the cartoons goes the encircled telephone number. (The fact where you wrote is immaterial.)

Another rule\funda that we follow in back pages is FILL UP EVERY SPACE TILL THERE IS NO PLACE!!! A careful study of back pages shows the existence of conversational writings. A few torn ends indicate the same is used for note passing!!

There are innumerable other uses also.. To mention a few (i) TIC TAC TOE, (ii) HOLLYWOOD,
(iii)HANGMAN (Need more explanation?? Then you are the worlds greatest nerd), (iv) Check whether your pen is working by writing on the last or blot ink pens, (v) Math formulae….Last minute revision??? Just flip to the last page.. (vi) Rough Calculations

The last page gets filled with all this and more and becomes a memoir later. A memoir, which can be looked through and remembered like the fossile of life. More to doodle and not enough space?? Don’t Worry… There ll be more notebooks and more backpages…

ENJOY DOODLING!!!!!!!!!

I love kids! Kids are like de-stressers for me. I love enjoying the way they ask questions and their inquisitiveness. The kid who is my best friend is my 7 year old cousin Vishnu who lives at Fremont, CA.

In my last post, you could ve seen a story written by Vishnu.

Vishnu is a tech savvy kid. He has his own gmail id on gtalk and has his own PC with protected Internet access only to a couple of games site.

He always logs in to gtalk from his id on weekends and other holidays. When he sees me online, he pings me and we both have long chats about Games , Science experiments, pulling each other’s legs and what not..

So that day, I was pinged by Unshu (as I fondly call him) on gtalk and we were talking about games and stuff.. When it struck me.. I asked him, “Hey Unshu, What do u wanna become when you grow up?” Unshu replied, “I wanna be a game developer!!!”

There was no hesitation. There was no pause. When I was a kid, Computers were never heard of as a household item as it is now. Internet was a dream ..

Thats not all.. He shot back questions at me, which i present you as a conversation.

Vishnu: Hey Sandhya, Can I ask you something?

Me: Sure Unshu!

Vishnu: Appa told me that you ll work for Microsoft. IS that true?

Me: Not sure Vishnu! I am interning there. Maybe yes, maybe no.

Vishnu: Oh! Then shall I tell you something which I feel?

Me: Sure Unsh! Go ahead..

Vishnu: Amma works for Google.. SO you better work for Microsoft. Because according to me, Google cannot run without Microsoft.

At that moment, I was dumb struck! How much have these kids been influenced by technologies.

I continued asking him why?

Vishnu: Oh yeah! You dont know? Microsoft has this Windows Stuff on only which Gtalk or google search can run. Moreover Google has only Google talk, Google mail and Google Earth but Microsoft has this whole big Windows and so many programming stuff.

I was totally totally shocked! How much kids these days know? I knew Windows only when I was around 14 or so. But Vishnu already knows to differentiate between Google and Microsoft… Ha ha ha.. He knows that both the companies are rivals already.. And I explained to him the various services offered by Google and Microsoft and he was really happy to know that there was Google Mars and Google Moon.. Ha ha ha..

I guess he ll become a game developer at Microsoft developing Games for X BOX nth version which comes out when he is a developer 15 years later

All the best Unshu for ur game developing future!!!