Long time since I actually blogged my feelings.. down from my heart.. Lots of things have happend in the past couple of weeks, both good and worst. But this is something that has affected me to the core. Yup! Losing my very good friends. And guess atleast once in a lifetime some of u out there must have undergone it but losing 3 ppl at the same time over a trivial issue is devastating. U may think I am being supersitious or something but what I feel is that I should not have even written a blog entry on my fight and patch up with my (ex)friend KG. I was happy to blog on it ‘cos I had that nearly losing my friend feeling and I did not want to lose him in the future and how much his friendship meant to me. But, the worst thing unimaginable happend.
It was in September 2006 that Me and Vivek went to MNM Engineering college culturals. We had a friend SR, studying there. Thats when we met Ashwin, Kunal and Haricharan and in no time we were fast friends sharing all emotions, going to movies, coffee days, hanging out at someones place and watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S and of course group studying for our semester exams and calculating the marks post exams. We attended the same GRE classes and had fun. We helped each other with applying to the universities and what not? I dedicate this post to Ashwin KG, Kunal and Hari…
Sometimes deep in the corner of my heart, I ve always felt that I had some difference of treatment from you. I did not know if it was just my perception or it was for real. ‘Cos whenever I used to call uto my home, you would never come stating the fact that its far. Well… How many times have i come to ur place irrespective of the sun,rain and wind just to spend time with u… to be in ur company.. have some memorable time.. How was i to know that everything was to go down a drain.. I may have this inferiority complex that am not from a well to do family as each of u.. but i assumed friendship is more of love and emotions and “being there when u need” than some stupid money or a prank played on u…
When I lie down on my bed and see all those flourescent stars stuck on to my bedroom ceiling, I am reminded only if the times that we all spent at SRs home and coffee world and eatallica and Alwarpet! Even on the day we met at beach for reconciling, I thought it was a very trivial issue and that it would be solved and we would probably head to another coffee joint to have some fun.. But instead, it was the last day that we met each other in person..
WHo loves to get blamed for something that they did not do intentionally? YEs, i came forward to meet you guys and say sorry but u guys kept criticizing as if I did a wrong thing. Pulling ur legs was wrong, KUnal? Vivek advising Kunal was wrong Ashwin? And ordering me to apologize to KG and Kunal was hurting, Hari without knowing who was wrong.
Anyways guys, I thought we may be friends forever. Now its like even if we want, we ll be friends for NEVER.
@KG: KG, if u r reading this post, I d like to tell how much i ve loved you and I know shouting at u the other day was not my cup of tea but everything has a threshold. If not for friends who would shout at u for some wrong u ve done?
@Hari: I ll miss all ur future concerts and whenever I hear ur songs, I ll be in tears.
@Kunal: Kunnu.. I ll not have anyone to flirt with on Yahoo msgr or do that Ctrl+G thingy on the falling hearts IM Environment just to annoy you for fun. Annoying you has taken a new dimension now. Its no longer fun. It made me realise a worth of friendship.
I am not sure how many times u guys have thought about me or even tried to patch up. Even yesterday i felt sorry for having shouted at KG. Its too late for a reconcilement. Words spoken in anger can never be taken back.
All you guys.. Have a great future in the US..
@Readers: SOrry for the totally depressing post.. I needed to vent my emotions